Energetic Anticipation
I'm restless today. I feel anticipation for something that hasn't happened. It's like I'm hungry for something, but I'm not sure what. I remember getting this feeling when I was young, in Edson. It brings back memories of laying on my bed, listening to the rain on the tin roof, wanting desperately to go outside to do something, anything. The feeling of wanting options that may not be available; feeling pent up, caged, somehow trapped by limitations. A feeling that I could do anything, that I was filled with the capacity for great energy, but I couldn't release it. I feel light, almost ethereal. I love the feeling, but it usually ends up anticlimactic.I used to have a recurring dream, where I was walking down a road, or in a field, wearing a long coat. The wind would blow strong around me, and I'd have to bend low in order not to be blown over. Then I would feel my feet leave the ground. I'd nervously take a few steps, bounding into the air, moving a few feet before touching down again. The same sort of feeling would fill me in the dream, right before I opened my coat and let the wind completely take me, flinging me high and back, and I would ride the wind, falling and rising as I twisted my body and make-shift wings.
I would imagine this is how dragons felt....
11 Comments:
maybe these feelings of restlessness are a good thing. Perhaps you discovered a opening for changed or a feeling coming back. I feel from what you wrote that this is very positive energy, freeing. Can you define it more? At you should talk about me getting inside your head! You are inside mine, it's scary :)
It's like a deep breath throughout my body. I feel charged, light and yet almost empty. Like my soul has expanded beyond my body. I feel like energy is surpassing me. It's powerful.
I am a little worried about you though.
I envy that feeling. My day seems to go from one extreme to the other lately. In the morning I feel everything is flat and absolute. It's not until later in the day that any sense of spirit comes back and I can indulge in anything inside or outside of me.
Why do you think you're having this experience.
I think it could be the ritual. I think I drew in some energy, filled me up. Could be the people around me too. I tend to have a sense of empathic balance, in that I have opposite energy of the people around me: if people near me are feeling energetic and good, I tend to balance by drawing in and vice versa. It's completely reflexive though.
Late night was always best for me, creatively. I wrote late, built late, dream late...
why are you worried about me?
drawing into yourself around extroverts is natural. They can be overwhelming and retracting is neccessary to keep a balance. I believe there are certain people that are naturally attuned to night rhythms and the moon's cycles just as there are people that work better with the sun's energies. Some people feel whole at night and they find comfort and not fear and create better when the world is asleep and it's quiet.
Yes, and I was one of those people. I would imagine if I ever get a job that I don't have to be at work at 7am, I will be again. I hope to open a bookstore, maybe, someday. That would be awesome. Quiet, coffee, a pipe, no rushing...
I'm a little worried about you because I haven't been holding back too much, and like I said, sometimes people react negatively.
ahh Trent, you're my favourite person in the whole world :) when have I ever reacted negatively to you or your thoughts?
and that whole bookstore idea is brilliant! omg! you'd make the best bookstore clerk. :)
Yeah, but small towns are notoriously bad for bookstores. But I have been leaning towards something along those lines. Perhaps it's time to start actually looking into it.
sell your books online and at a physical store. works for the bookman here in Chilliwack.
Pub. A pub with books. Books and beer, two of my favorite things.
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