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Water

I have a better understanding of water today. I have been trying to hold myself back emotionally, to stem the flow of feeling and direct it to something I felt was “worthwhile”. Basically, I was standing in the river, trying to hold back the water with my hands. Pressure builds, the water squeezes through the fingers, and in the end, when it is finally released, it floods everything around it, clearing away everything. What is left is, at first desolation, but becomes greener, more fertile. Water carries with it the nourishment needed for everything to grow.

I’m usually looking for parallels to how I feel in the world around me. In that, I don’t think I’m creating the moods myself, but that I may be starting to see the correlations of our connection to nature. Winter is over, the snow and ice are melted and the waters have saturated and started to wash away the debris of fall. Things are greening and the rains are more frequent. I think this is how I have been these last few months. Frozen and heavy, stagnant and cold until the thaw; I had moved from a state of air to water; ice to water. My mind is not clear now, like ice, but muddy, moving and fertile. I’m emotional, like water, getting deeper, building, bringing that cleansing to the long dry places. I realize that these are the cycles of life now, and I need not stem them, control them. I am closer to balance now, because balance isn’t being all things at once; it is being all things equally.

I think I’m going to be ok.

posted by September @ 8:53 AM