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Xanth's Debut

My mind is active today. Jumbled, eclectic and racing, but I feel inspired. I feel darker today too. Sonja and I have been having a conversation that went in an odd direction. What started out as me declaring a dedication to the path of Witchcraft and Wicca ended up being a discussional (made up word of the day) path that went from "fluffy bunnies" to Gods/Goddesses to morality, impulses and ended, I think, in me not being psychotic.

I've always had a darker aspect. My sense of humour, my patience, my overall sense of being has changed alot over the years. I'm not the same person I was ten years ago, though I have glimpses of who I was once in a while. I've changed from being abrasive and dark to being (dare I say it?) amiable and dark. I guess I've moved more into a state of grey.

So what's the problem? It's new to me. I'm inquisitive, and I don't let go of things; I catagorize and analyize everything to death. Through the years, I've developed several personalities that allowed me to adapt to different things, but at the same time, they were too varied and eventually started to fight each other. I think this new "grey" could be a reblending of them. Perhaps it's another one. I suspect that it is more likely that a new character has been introduced, and I don't think it's unreasonable to call him Xanth. A character that has Brant's grounding, Tali's compassion and respect of life, and Trynn's sense of power. The others are still there. They still appear from time to time, and Xanth is not as strong in these characteristics as the others are. He doesn't have the expertise of each, but a sense of them all.

I can't describe the way I feel today. It's like trying to give shape to clouds. I'm changing, swirling, massless. Interesting feeling, really.

posted by September @ 7:39 AM