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Adventures in Fort McMurray

I don't know if anyone has noticed, but I can make most of mundane life into a series of grand adventures. Last night would to most seem an ordinary tour into town for beer and supper, but for me it was an escape from the gloomy clutches of camp.
Yesterday morning, Alex and I were having a conversation about going to town, and decided that since I have my car here, we should go. After procuring Justin as designated driver, and inviting Mike because, well, Mike's a fun guy, we eagerly counted down the moments until 6:00.
The last half of the day was dragging, and we had planned to make our escape a few mintues early, but Marty (our boss) showed up. "You bastards aren't going anywhere until 6 o'clock," he bellowed. Dejected, he stood by the door counting down the last few minutes. It wasn't that he expects us to sit in our cubicals until quitting time, it was that he didn't want to have to explain why four of his crew are walking up the sidewalk, past the offices early. Justin's watch ticked and ticked, each eternal space between the seconds bringing us closer.
5:59:52 Alex finally breaks. "Well, I don't actually report to Marty," he says, grinning wide beneath a greying moustache and charges out the door. It started a small stampede. Big Mike pushed his way through us and followed Alex, and Justin and I shrugged and went.
After a quick change to freshen up, I met the guys on the road by my car, we piled in and hit the road. Literally. Within 2 minutes of embarking on our journey, I bottomed out my car. The rest of the trip was relatively quiet if bumpy. I hit two more deep ruts, scraping the bottom of my car and getting on the highway revealed a new wobble in my steering wheel that was not there before.
The conversation was light, the highlight of which was when Alex looked out the window and said, "deer."
"Did you say 'beer'?" I asked, my head whipping around to look at him in the back seat, touching the brake lightly.
"No, deer. You can't drink a deer," he answered chuckling.
I smiled slyly and said "you can if you have a really big blender." The result was grossing out Mike and Justin, who apperantly have watch far too much Fear Factor.
After an hour and a half, we arrived at Tavern on Main Taphouse and Eatery. We walked into a small, brightly lit pub. Small round table with tall chairs were lined around the outside of the room, and a series of long bar-like tables seperated the rest of the room in a long L. The place was packed, but Alex had the forthought to have his girlfriend meet us there, so she was saving us a place to sit. Unforunately, for all the people in the tavern on a saturday night in Fort McMurrray, they only had two waitresses working.
After a short wait, our ravenhaired server pushed her way through the noisey throng and can to take our order. "Big pint of traditional," I said eagerly, the words spilling from my mouth, greedily rubbing my hands together. The beer came quickly and I raised my glass and made a silent toast to Freya. The sweet, dark beer was delicious, and by the end of it, I was starting to feel the fog in my brain burn away. It should be noted at this point, that I had fasted all day, so the beer's intoxicating effects didn't hesitate to take effect. Before I had finished the first, I'd ordered a second, which I toasted to Mike for getting his driver's license last days off.
The company was good. Alex's girlfriend, Norma, brought a couple of co-workers, Shawn and Nicole. Shawn was quiet and a little shy. Nicole, on the other hand, was quite outspoken. We had a few bouts of "outwit the drunk skinny guy", which she lost most of the time. Recognizing alot of the music being played, Justin and I sang along, laughing at each other's lack of vocal ability. "Who sings this?" Nicole asked, a quizical look on her face.
"Neil Diamond," I answered, still laughing at Justin, who was dancing in his seat.
"Let him." It was an old gag, but I wasn't expecting it. The second time I was.
"Who sings this?" she asked again when we were singing to CCR.
"I do," I said grinning. Then the song changed, and I continued, "hey, what do you know, I sing this one too."
Two pints down and a cajun chicken burger later, I was feeling quite jovial, but the place was getting too crowded. People were now pressed into the corner behind us, and I hate crowds, let alone crowds behind me. I didn't order a third pint, figuring we were getting ready to go, until Mike ordered a beer. Damn it. I flagged down the waitress and ordered another pint.
I was feeling generous after two and a half pints of beer, so I paid the tab. Seven people, dinner and drinks was $242 and change, but worth it. I had a great time.
Justin by this point was starting to get ansy. We have to be back in camp, through the security gate before midnight, and knowing how bad the road is, he wanted to get going. But not before we went 7-11. I was halfway out the door when I remembered what I wanted beer for in the first place. I ran back to my almost empty pint and took a mouthful of ale, inspired by Odin and the Mead of Poetry, I held the beer in my mouth until I was outside. I found a patch of grass nearby and spat the beer into it, pouring out the beer again to Freya.
We drove then to 7-11 for last minute snacks and supplies for camp. I noticed that Mike and Alex didn't come in. As it turns out, while I was purchasing Marvel Knights Spider-Man issue 13, a big bag of skittles and my empty Darth Vader head slurpee cup, Mike and Alex were buying drinks for the road.
The rest of the trip was a blur of Budweiser super cans, a gross shot of tequila and lime, a lesson in appreciation of David Wilcox, and talking into my Darth Vader slurpee cup trying to convince Mike to "join me, and we will the galaxy as father and son".
So, why the long, drawn out blog when I could have said "Last night three coworkers and I went to town for supper and beers"? The fog is lifting. My mind isn't entirely where it should be, but I'm writing, and that's a start.

posted by September @ 10:54 AM