Cycles
My mind is cloudy again. I guess in the cycles that are my psyche, it was inevitable. With work, the coming holiday, so many books to read and feeling the urge to write, I'm being stretched too thin. I can't devote time to one thing because twelve need to be done. There are things I want to do, but don't get around to doing, and things that need to be done, that I don't have the time or ambition for. It's time for me to sit and rethink my priorities. Everything around me is falling into the "half-assed" catagory simply because I can't finish anything; because I can't focus.I haven't drawn a rune in about a week, I haven't been feeling particularly spiritual, and I haven't had any sense of energy whatsoever. If I had drawn a rune today, it would be nauthiz; that feeling of need, of missing something I wasn't sure I'd lost. I have not "strayed from the path", but I have left it and sat on a stump in the rain trying to decide where to go next. Even as I write this, I feel a welling of energy.
14 Comments:
then don't do anything. don't even talk to people if you don't want to. you don't have to do any of the things you mentioned. You do them if you want because you're the enchanter of your soul and life.
Do one, do some, or don't do any.
sitting and thinking is always a good idea :)
You're right, but the things I don't want to do are get up and go to work. I do want to write, I just don't have the ambition. I want to work on my ritual, but I'm so bogged down in mundanity. I want to beat my head on the desk, but that wouldn't help anything. Tonight I'm cleaning my room because I should do it before my dedication and circle casting. It's not that I don't have the time, I just have to get my shit together and do it.
On a possitive note, my wand is almost done.
I know exactly. Right now I want to be reading my books on quantum healing and cleaning my kitchen for when my mom and dog visit tomorrow. Home is soft and quiet and the weather is pleasant.
I respect hard work but our souls weren't meant for the mundane and inane.
You know what I really want to do? Lay in the grass, stretch out in the sun and sleep. Feel the wind above me and the earth below.
ahh yes :) I like that thought.
Tonight, before I do any cleaning I've decided to take a walk in the park, by the river. The river is brown and murky, but it's soothing and peaceful.
well I hope that it helps you and you find a good place to sit!
Thanks :) Once I clear my head I'll write a response to your e-mail and post my wand crafting/dedication blog on OSW.
I look forward to the email. I hope my thoughts on witchcraft and heathenry made some sense.
Yes, of course they did. I agree with the direction and content of Othila. It's fantastic to have someone to not only share my thoughts and feelings, but to have you prod me and keep me focussed.
*PROD* this m'fo :P
I meant it in a good way.
I know. I was teasin' :)
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