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Is It Thursday Yet?

This is driving me nuts. Yesterday's post was an attempt at creativity that fell way short. I've been feeling the ambition to do something, but not inspired. I feel like I'm always on the verge of something, but there's something holding me back. So, yesterday I was trying to write, got another idea and tried writing that at the same time. Just to see if either would become something. Not working, I got a third idea (...there's that three again) and tried that. Whatever it is that's got me so twisted has to stop.

Today's Rune:
Wunjo -Glory
I've come back to write this after taking some time this morning to think about it. "What's blocking me?" I asked as I drew the rune and at first it didn't seem to make any sense. But now I see it. It's my obsession with the end of things, with the glory of completing, with becoming/creating something "above" the common. It's my drive to surpass the mundane, to be better and do better. I forget that part of the glory is the details, the journey. I often skip or miss the simpler aspect of things, focussing on the bigger picture, the end result. My blog is a good example. It started out as more or less a repository for my thoughts, for my emotions, and just a place to unload my head. Lately, however, I find myself holding back because talking about the same things: work, work and "I wish I was at home". I had come to the assumption that my blog had to be something worthy of my higher mind, when in fact, it doesn't. It should represent my whole mind. The glory comes in the whole victory, not the individual battles.
I read an article this morning about wunjo that helped me see this:

Suffering is NOT the defining quality of life. Wunjo is there too! Despite their often difficult life circumstances (imagine watching your family slowly starve with food, in the form of the seed grain necessary for long-term survival, right there under your noses), our Heathens ancestors were able to understand this, overcome depression and fatalism, and live vibrant lives that still shine in glory a millenium later. We well-fed Moderns need to ditch our existential Angst and imitate them.
-Jordsvin (http://realmagick.com/articles/78/2178.html)

Drop the need for higher purpose and find life. I've become so distracted by the end result, I can't complete the process. Tonight, I'm going for a walk, rain or shine, and I'm going to lay in the grass and just feel the world around me. Listen and be without thinking.

posted by September @ 5:33 AM