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Find The River

"Eiwaz, the yew, is in the position of the future. It is a rune of transformation, of facing fears and death. Through the death of my former self, I can be remade. By passing into Hel, I can confront the darkness (of myself perhaps) and learn the mysteries hidden there. Learning wisdom that can't be taught, learning through experience. This isn't a new concept to me. I generally face whatever stands in my way, living through hardship, learning from it and being better because of it, leaving behind many "former selves". However, change for me is always dramatic, full of upheaval. I very seldom emerge from change the same person. But maybe this is the "fear" I have to face. Perhaps in not becoming something completely different, but by reintergrating myself, bringing together my past selves, my legacy and combining that with magic I can be a whole spirit, instead of several fractured ones.
An interesting read. I'll have to revisit this to see what has progressed."
April 17, 2005

In anticipation of my one year blog-iversary, I've been rereading old posts, trying to discover exactly what I've done with the passed year. I want to discern if there is some measurable change that I've endured, some growth, or something. Reading a whole month of my life at a time is interesting. Then I saw this post. It follows the first use of my rune set, and it stood out. It has been 10 months (tomorrow) since I posted this, and I can pick out a little of this remergence. I've cycled through many of my dominant mindsets, even created some new ones, and been through a great deal of inner conflict over the course of the winter. But with spring immanent, I feel a "deepening of the river", so to speak. I'm cooler, more fluid. I'm not seeking to seperate the elements anymore. Instead I've turned to feel them in conjunction with one another, within me. Will this hold? I don't know. Does any of this make sense? Probably not. I have a fascinating feeling in me today.

I can't wait to go outside.

Oh, and as an interesting aside, it was +10 C on the weekend and this morning it is -37 C. I love weather :)

posted by September @ 12:02 PM