Reset

Look Out Below

I've been mildly insane for, oh, the last three months. And by insane I mean emotional, paranoid, confused, broken. I haven't been myself, and through conscious effort, I've been trying to break away from that. But these things always take time. Think of a boulder rolling down hill. The thing cannot simply be told to roll up again and it does. The momentum has to be decreased. I feel like the guy infront of that boulder, bracing his legs, trying not to get crushed under it. And sometimes it feels like my body is going to break in two.

I'm trying small things to change my life. I do simple sit-ups and push-ups in the morning, as I roll out of bed and onto the floor. Not many. Just enough to start my blood pumping. We're doing group stretches in the morning at work before 7am. I'm talking to Diane more through email during the day. I'm trying to eliminate some of the alienation I'm feeling at home this way. I'm making more time for myself at night.

What the fuck happened to me?

posted by September @ 7:09 AM