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Blargh

I'm in a mood today, one I haven't had for a little while. I've been trying for the passed couple of months to not supress myself, to let what I'm feeling flow and just to experience it. That means sometimes I also have to accept the darker moods.

I've been kicking around MotM in my head lately. I want to write more, but I'm finding I write a little and lose where I'm going. Being me, once I lose focus, it's really hard to get it back. Air is like that, I guess. It dissappates quickly. I wrote this fragment this morning:

“Where is it?” Xanth asked. The land was dry, and seemed burned, broken and twisted remains of trees stood here and there. The pentagonal patterns in the splitting clay allowed nothing to grow. The place was barren and deserted.

Lan trotted ahead, looking nervously from onside to the other, scanning the horizon for some unseen threat. The wind blew, and though the air was hot, the sun high and bright, there was an unmistakable chill. “There,” he said, whispering. He tossed his head slightly to the left. “That’s where we’re going.” Xanth shaded his eyes and looked in the direction the fox had indicated. Far on the horizon, Xanth thought he could make out a shape, a small hill perhaps, but the blowing dust and sun in his eyes made it impossible to say for sure. Lan trotted ahead again, and Xanth jogged behind, neither speaking.

As they made their way across the plain, Xanth saw the shape take form. What he thought at first was a low hill turned out to be a small mountain. The red and orange rock rose up out of the ground and had apparently been worn by many years of dust storms and constant wind. Soon they pair stood at the foot of the mountain, and Xanth strained his neck back, looking up at the lonely monolith. “I don’t get it,” he said, “why would she come here? There’s nothing for miles.”

Lan looked up at the puzzled man and shook his head sadly. “I love her too, Xanth, but there are dark parts in all of us. This where she comes to be away from us.” Lan looked toward the sky again, as if waiting for something. Xanth followed his gaze.

“What are you looking for?”

“Shh,” Lan whispered again. “Here she is.” An enormous black shadow erupted from the side of the mountain high above their heads. A great black winged shape moved quickly through the sky, and turned to make a slow circle around the top of the mountain. “Quick,” Lan said, bolting to the left of Xanth, “there’s a way in over here. We have to hurry.”

Xanth followed, as Lan scrambled through the small cave at the base of the mountain. Dropping as he ran, the man frantically pulled himself on his belly through the opening and didn’t stop until he was sure no part of him could be seen from outside. “This is too strange, Lan, even for us. What the hell is this place?” Panic had started to settle in Xanth’s mind, his voice breaking slightly.

Lan hushed him again. “Xanth, you have to calm down. If she catches us here, there’s no telling what will happen. Just stay calm, keep quiet and follow me.” Lan walked ahead of his crawling companion, leading them down the dark, rough tunnel. Xanth winced as he continually scraped his hands on the sharp rocks. He had the feeling that if there was any light in the tunnel, the rocks would be stained with the blood of any who had been foolish enough to break in here before. “Just a little more,” Lan whispered. “We’ll be out soon”.

The pair shortly emerged into a large cavern. Xanth lifted himself and stared at his bleeding hands.


I don't know if I'll finish it or not. I need to do something, but I don't know what. I'm lazy, melancholic and frustrated. If you think it's hard to talk to me when I'm in this mood, you should try experiencing it. Hell, even Justin left.

It could be a general empathy I'm getting from everyone here. Things are slow and everyone is a little frustrated that the work just can't be done. Construction workers get pretty twitchy when there's no work to do. Maybe I'll go for a walk outside.

posted by September @ 12:07 PM