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fire

I've been very hot lately. Full of energy, a little unfocussed and restless. I'd decided last night that I must be in the fire element of my cycle, which fits with the coming solstice. In a conversation with Sonja, I'd decided that this is more than likely what it is that is stunting my creativity. No, that's not right, because I have been feeling creative, I just haven't been producing anything. Fire is a consumer, not a creator, at least not in the traditional sense. Fire transforms the other elements, water to steam, earth to ash and air to energy. In and of itself, fire has no transformation. It is, but doesn't change.

It is also a dominantly male element, which also fits with what I have been feeling. The female part of my mind is fading, becoming "dormant", as I knew it would. I am a pendulum, or a spiralling cycle. I know, from the maps I've made, from the logs I keep, from discovering the patterns of my mind, that I will soon move out of this mind and into earth next. I think I already have started, in some ways. The fact that I'm even writing this is a good indicator. Last night's craving for laying in the grass in the backyard is another. I'm already begining to manifest the ideas that I haven't been able to focus for the passed week or so. I am already feeling cooler, more level. Perhaps I will soon be able to start reworking MotM, a project that I have been rewriting in my head.

It's not much, but it's a start.

posted by September @ 1:00 PM