Reset

What's the Hubbub?

There have been moments in my life, times when things come into focus and I can see the forest for the trees. I've been thinking a lot lately, about myself and how I relate myself to the world outside my head. I spend a lot of time in there, just trying to sort out how to communicate to people what I'm feeling. Unfortunatly, that has also alienated me in a way. I spend too much time trying to figure out "why" I do the things I do, "why" I think the things I do and "why" I'm not like everyone else. In the process, I've built walls, burned them down, had a bit of a breakdown, created this extravagant pantheon of people in my head who represent aspects of me, and lost the ability to express myself. I fall into ruts now, grooves of habit, laziness really, with people because it's easier to only show certain sides of myself to certain people than to explain the other parts.

I've decided, as a countermeasure to this, as a way of maybe reconnecting with myself and the people in my life, I'm giving up my blog. I will reserve this space as a place to showcase my occassional artistic endeavours, but as for an on-line journal, a place to share my thoughts, to talk out the swirling junk in my mind I don't want it anymore. Truth be told, there are enough things in my head, and this really didn't do much but cause me anxiety about who was reading it and who wasn't. So, the past is passed, the blog remains, but hence forth it will be something altogether different.

Ciao.

posted by September @ 11:28 AM