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37 Degrees West

I've had a bit to think about over the weekend. On thursday before I went home, to Elk Point, I had another appointment with my therapist. I'd decided I was going to plunge ahead and let him in on the secret I've been living with for the last 7 years or so. I'd decided to introduce the part of me that I hide, that I've been protecting. He in turn introduced me to an interesting concept. I've been breaking down my thoughts and actions into "his and hers", essentially, creating a seperation in my self of the things that I catagorize as male and female. He suggested that these stereotypes don't define what is male and female, and that the conflict I have between those halves is my own shame about the things about me that are different. Basically, I've been feeding my alienation from the people around me with shame about my softer, emotional, poetic self. What it means is, there is no Tali and Trynn, no dicotomy of light and dark, at least not in the sense I've been living it. All of it is everything that I am that no one else is. Well, not no one; again, that is my stereotypical view of people. I've still got a ways to go, I think, as far as sorting myself out and feeling comfortable with it all. I should look at where it started, I suppose, try to figure out why it was ok for me once to be emotional and expressive and when that ended.

Hmm, but right now, Lexxy is sleeping in my lap and I've got a hankering for some reading.

posted by September @ 4:25 PM