Reset

Resolve

I'm in a non-mood today. I feel fine emotionally, but there is no mood. I'm on the edges of something, my spirit leaning one way, my mind the other, and it's in balance. Strange to say that: balance. Perhaps this is the feeling I've been looking for. It's a fragile, teetering feeling, like standing on the end of a pole. It's a nice blend of anxious and calm. Of drive and lethargy.

I'm going to quit smoking today. Again. I have one smoke left, and after that, I am going to be a non-smoker. I have to exercise my will, prove to myself that I have will power. Strengthen my resolve, control my body as well as my mind.

My roommates will be home before me tonight. They were "at the cabin" (*shrug*) all weekend, and to tell the truth, having the house quiet and to myself was great. Too bad I worked late every night. I got home just in time to have a bath, have a drink and go to bed. I can't wait to go home.

posted by September @ 8:09 AM