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Foiled!

I've been a little off since friday. I had another appointment with my therapist on thursday before I left town for the weekend. Remember how I said I didn't really feel like talking? Well, I let him do most of it. I'd gone in there with the thought that I'd let him give me his insight into what his thoughts are on me and my brain. To my surprise, without any prompting at all from me, that's what he did. I was in a good mood when I went in there. Deleriously. He started asking about that, about how I feel when I'm like that, how long it last, etc. We discussed the possiblity that I am bi-polar. He decided that he doesn't think I am, but perhaps I have another disorder, called dysthymic disorder. It's a chemical imbalance, and that perhaps I should at least consider taking medication for it. I explained to him my reservations, about altering my mind, about seeing what medication did for Jeff, about everything. But I decided to try it anyway. I figured, that's why I'm there, right? To feel better?

So, since friday I've been taking antidepressants. It's a strange feeling, almost being asleep but wide awake. I've been playing with it a bit in my head. There's times I know I should have been mad, but I'm not. It's like I can't get upset. I've noticed too, when I talk to people how different I react to them. More at easy. Strange.

So, Trynn isn't really there, but at the same time I had this idea this morning, about him being trapped in a bubble, a hard shell that he's pressing against but can't break free from. And while he's there, he's watching, screaming, as the house in the trees is slowly dismantled. But, we both knew it would come to this someday.

posted by September @ 9:26 AM