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Sugarhigh

I am finely balanced. Yesterday, I ate about a pound of little gummy candies, interspersed with hand fulls of jalapeno and cheddar tortilla chips and proceeded fall into a lethargic state. Sugar makes me sleepy. Extremely sleepy. So today, coupled with Billy's observation, "yeah man, caffeine makes you depressed," I'm also not having any more coffee today. One cup, that's it. So I should be in a coma any minute, regardless. And the two doughnuts and two oreos I had don't count. The point is, it's easy to throw me off my equilibrium. Too easy. And admitting that has revealed my one true weakness. Curses.

Barb and I went out for dinner last night. I was in the mood for chinese and asked if she wanted to come. We chatted a little about this and that. I told her I was working on a story, and that kinda got me in the mood to write. Could be that, or the warm weather, either way I feel like moving again, intellectually.

Facts and facts. How do you feel today, Trent?

I'm alright. I was in a good mood for a bit this AM, until I had to start arguing about work. Something about fighting all the time has lost it's appeal to me. I'd just as soon walk away now as stand and argue. Anyway, I was daydreaming yesterday about having 3 part-time jobs at places like, the video store and some fast food place and something else. About sleeping until noon and staying up until 4am. About being something opposite, unencumbered by the world and no longer shackled to a job that gets me no satisfaction.

Hmmm, you'd think I was bitter. I'm not, I just need to find another way to focus my creativity, to separate my life from my work, and to be able to focus on my endeavours long enough to accomplish something. That's the trick. I can have all the free time in the world, but it's not until I have something else to do that I get in the mood to do something.

Then again, it seems I've always been contrary.

posted by September @ 10:10 AM