Reset

Back to the Future

Strange days ahead, I think. I've got a weird blend of sensations going on. I'm oh my medication now, for just over a week and I get these strange rushes that move from the front of my forehead down my spine and into my arms. Into my whole body, actually. It feels almost surreal and puppetesque. Emotionally I'm a little scattered as well. I feel the ups and downs coming back, the strange roller coaster of being happy and sad at the same time. I feel good about it though, about coming back to the reality that is mine, and not artificially induced. I've even started writing again. I've been stunted and I didn't like it.

Diane and I are "taking a break". I'm not sure what that means, exactly. I do know that I need to be on my own to regain myself. I've been living my life for her, and in the process I feel like I've lost who I am. The other part of me argues that I am who I am, with her. We'll see. Experimenting with my mind, life and body has become an obsession. Change the scenarios and see what happens. No safety nets, just the headlong plunge. Like the tarot Fool. Fates and fools.

posted by September @ 7:34 AM