Reset

Leaded

The worst part about sitting down to write is not being able to think of anything to write about once I finally do sit down. My mind more or less goes blank, I get tunnel vision and I feel suddenly heavy. Actually, I've been feeling heavy alot, in most senses. What with what's going on with Diane and I, and everything I feel like I have been dipped in lead, metally, physically and spiritually. I have no idea what it is I'm supposed to be doing, and she tells me she doesn't either. I think we're both more or less in the same place. Part of me can't shake the feeling that we belong together, and on the other hand, there's so much that I'm hurt about. All she has to do is tell me to come home, and I would. If she told me she still wanted me, I would go to her. But there's something, and I'm positive she feels it too, that makes the whole thing somewhat easy to accept. Hard to live with, but good in theory. I don't know. I just don't.

Back to writing, I want to write today, and I need more discipline when it comes to writing. So that's the plan today. I'm going to try to work out a piece that has been mulling around in my mind for a week or so.

posted by September @ 8:31 AM