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Twins

It's time again to start takling better care of myself. I need to stop being so reckless with everything. I mean it, Trent.



Every morning I wake up deciding that whatever happened the day before has to cut out. It's another example of my two minds on everything. I have to eat better, I have to drink less and I have to give up smoking. But by sometime midafternoon, I'm thirsty for beer and smoke, and I'm eating whatever I can get relatively easy for supper. I wrote a pair of sonnets a little while back in which I tried to capture this.


XXI
By dawn, the senses still murked and slow,
And reason rings anew the slumber'd head,
Resolve is fresh and plans to thus lay low
Those baser shifts when springs one fresh from bed;
But day's weary toil doth batter the will
And so by eve's rise, and the lighted moon
Doth climb, and sweet night's mantle doth fill
Between the shadows which again reune,
That visceral lust doth come creep my thoughts
And the beasts that stalk come to greed and glut
And hunt and tear the resolve, and so rots
The gate that deprivation would keep shut.
The lycanth mind of man by moon doth change,
The drives of man and monster rearrange.


XXII
I am renew'd! Speak not the "lycanth mind",
For beast is only beast if man makes him.
What doth thou in my grey, grinning jaws find
That does not already enter the rim
Of thy uneasy scope? Do my yellow'd
Eyes shake thee so, set thee quaking abed?
No beast stands erect, seeking so hallow'd
Pursuits, as are found in my noble head.
So hide thee then, though find you not devils,
Nor demons come at midnight to eat thy
Weak, slumb'ring flock, nor other dread evils
That come amassing out the darken'd sky.
Seek you not the monster to so impound,
Experience life as the soul has found.


So, I need to slow down, at least until this afternoon.

posted by September @ 7:22 AM